I’ve been bopping from elementary school to elementary school this spring, talking about reading and writing and my favorite authors, and how much I love Star Wars, and how I love writing but how I sometimes hate it too, although ultimately I’m so happy to be an author.
But the best part of a school visit is when I’m done with my 20 minute rambling soliloquy and the kids get to ask questions. Here are some of the best so far:
Kid: How much money do you make?
Me: Enough to make me happy, but I can’t quit my day job as a respiratory therapist.
Kid: Yeah, but give me a real number.
Kid: I’m writing a story inspired by Franz Kafka and Homer.
Me: Oh yeah? What’s it about?
Kid: It’s basically The Iliad but with cockroaches.
Me: I MUST READ THAT.
Kid: Which of your two books is your favorite?
Me: Aw man, that’s like asking me which one of my kids is my favorite.
Kid: So, which one of your kids is your favorite?
Kid: Are you ever going to write a book that your daughter can illustrate?
Me: I would love to do that!
Kid: Would you take all the money or would you give her some?
Kid: Have you ever met anyone famous?
Me: Well, I’ve met a lot of authors, and to me, they’re quite cool and famous.
Kid: No, I mean someone really famous. Like Ariana Grande.
Follow-Up Question From Another Kid: Have you met 50 Cent?
Kid: Have you written a book that hasn’t been published?
Me: Yes! I wrote a book about washing windows when I as a much younger man. It was partly true, partly fiction.
Kid: Are you going to publish it?
Me: I doubt it.
Kid: Why’d you give up?
Kid: How do you make a book?
Me: It takes a lot of work! I write and write and write and edit and then I rewrite most of it several times and edit it some more and when I’m finally ready, I send the manuscript to my editor.
Kid: No, I mean, how do you make it?
Me: So let’s begin with how paper is made …
Kid: Can you name one of your characters after me?
Me: Maybe. What’s your name?
Kid: Jack Sloane.
Me: Wow. That’s a tough guy character name if I’ve ever heard one. You got it!
Next 4 Questions: Can you name a character after me? Can you name a character after me? Can you name a character after me? Can you name a character after me?
Kid: Do you need to go to college to be a writer?
Me: Absolutely not.
Kid: Do you want someone to make a movie of your book?
Me: I think that’d be pretty cool.
Kid: But aren’t you afraid they’d ruin it?
And these are just the first 10 that popped in my head. More later!
⁓ George 4/29/23